Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
