Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
