Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So many bounce houses so little time
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
