eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
