woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
