I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Im part way to drunk.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
