I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
