She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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