I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
