I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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