I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
