Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
