i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
