Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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