i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
