I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
