So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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