Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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