No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
