Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There r osticjed everywhere
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
