we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
