If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
