You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
