Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I cut my penus on the lid.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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