wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
