Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
