Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
