So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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