ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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