i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
