you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize