I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
my god I love twenty year old dicks
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
