there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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