What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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