I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
