I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
