I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
