is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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