You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
