I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
