Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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