I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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