We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize