she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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