i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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