hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
