This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
