I smell stomach acid.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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