I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
