census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
