We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm bleeding and have questions
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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