Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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