And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
