I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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