Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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