Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
