what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
