More tranny stories later!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize