i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize