i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
