Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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