do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
