you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
