Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
