Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
