Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
this is an emotional support booty call
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
