Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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