She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
